If There Is A God
I was all alone sitting on a cliff in San Sebastian overlooking the ocean as it came alive with 15-foot swells. At that very moment, I felt a feeling that has not been with me since I was young and nothing mattered except my imagination that allowed me to do and believe in anything I wanted. I realized sitting there watching the ocean that it is the only element that opens my mind to discover whatever it is I am looking for. The ocean is my church, temple, or any of the places people go to find themselves. The best part about the ocean to me is that Mother Nature is the one producing the energy for me to find happiness and answers, and I don’t have to go to a place that may or may not be made up by people of the past. More power to any person who uses their beliefs to achieve, but the ocean is a living creature that does not die; which makes a true phenomenon that is undeniable, and I will be cliché and say “Only a surfer knows the feeling”. In reality, it is all Mother Nature that brings the only thing I worship because it has proven to destroy anything in its path at any moment, and you don’t need anyone else to enjoy it.
As I sat there, I became a child again and just wanted to explore the boundaries. I looked at the stormy out of control ocean and wanted to be closer, and a part of the intensity that was talking to me in with the exploding sounds. I walked down the cliff and out to the end of the inlet jetty where the waves were smashing against the rocks and splashing over onto the walk way, I could smell, feel and take in all the power and mist from steps away, and I just stood there in a state of bliss breathing it in. I haven’t been in a mindset like that in years, and even though I was not surfing, I was playing with the waves through my mind and camera by trying to see how close I could get without get before the waves would smash over. Taking photographs of the waves was surreal because I was mind surfing them and capturing moments I enjoyed because I couldn’t ride them. It was very similar to surfing because I try to surf waves from a feeling of how I want to surf them. I have referred surfers to artists painting a canvas because we all have different styles to surf the waves how we want to surf them. As long as how you surf a wave makes you happy it doesn’t matter how anyone else views it because what one sees as an imperfection can also be viewed as a masterpiece to others. My shutter didn’t stop until I ran out of memory cards. I then sat there enjoying a coffee while watching the sun go down with nobody around, thinking about how I love the scent, sound, and everything about how the ocean and how it has created this life for me that was amazing and all the money in the world couldn’t have paid for it. Out of nowhere, I stood up and yelled looking to the awaken sea “I found you in fucking Spain! You have caressed my soul, and no matter where you run too, my love for you will always hunt you down!” I sat back down took another sip of coffee in the dark, and I thought about the morning of Tuesday October 16, 1984 when two of the most loving and proud parents drove straight down Venice Boulevard a couple hours after having their son right up the street at home. They parked in between the Jetty and Breakwater where they sipped on coffee and showed their new little boy the “Ocean Before Anything”